En Limerick er, udover at være en by i Irland, en særdeles smækker sproglig disciplin, hvor man inden for et bestemt sprogligt skema, kan skabe dejlige og eventuelt sjofle rim. Skemaet er altid og uden undtagelse AABBA, hvilket vil sige at en limerick består af 5 linjer, hvor de første to samt den sidste rimer på hinanden, og hvor linje 3 og 4 rimer på hinanden. Desuden er B-linjerne ofte kortere end A-linjerne. Derudover øger det kvaliteten af en limerick, hvis den er humoristisk og sjofel.

Det er en rimelig simpel opskrift, og de sproglige retter, der kan komme ud af den, kan være ret fantastiske.

Eksempler på limericks

I første omgang får du en række af de sjofle limericks:

There once was a woman named Jill
Who swallowed an exploding pill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And her tits in a tree in Brazil

A tree from Brazil

Now down in the valley of Shneel
Lived a woman who loved to reveal
With her curtains well drawn
Standing bare as a fawn
She’d do this really neat trick with an eel

There once was a man from Bonaire
Who was doing his wife on the stair
When the banister broke
He doubled his stroke
And finished her off in midair

There once was a queen of Bulgaria
Whose bush had grown hary and hairier,
Till a prince from Peru
Who came up for a screw
Had to hunt for her c*nt with a terrier.

The sea captain’s tender young bride
fell into the bay at low tide,
You could tell by her squeals,
that some of the eels
had discovered a good place to hide.

There once was a girl from Peru
Who by far had nothing to do
She sat on the stairs
counting her pubic hairs
4,902

A girl from Peru

There was a young gal name of Sally
Who loved an occasional dally.
She sat on the lap
Of a well-endowed chap
Crying, “Gee, Dick, you’re right up my alley!”

Og her følger et par af de ikke-sjofle. Men hvad de mangler i sjofelhed, gør de op for i opfindsomhed.

There was a young lady named Bright
who traveled much faster than light.
She set out one day
in a relative way,
and came back the previous night.

There was a young lady of Niger
who smiled as she rode on a tiger;
They returned from the ride
with the lady inside,
and the smile on the face of the tiger.

A young psychic midget named Marge
Went to jail with the most heinous charge
But despite lock and key
The next day she broke free
And the headlines said “Small Medium at Large”.

At breakfast one day in Calcutta
Was a man with a bit of a stutta
He said, “Pass the h-ham
And the j-j-j-jam
And the b-b-b-b-b-b-butta.”

Danske limericks

I løbet af sommeren har Politiken haft en konkurrence kørende, hvor man kunne sende en limerick ind med udgangspunkt i den by man bor i. Det har ført til blandt andre disse bud:

En kanoroer fra Silkeborg
med frygtelig lange pikkehår
fik dem slemt viklet ind
i hjuldamperens spin
og endte til sengs med liggesår

En liderlig kælling fra Nexø
Hun hored’ sig gennem sin sex-ø
da hun havde nedlagt
enhver i en ked’ldragt
så flytted’ hun vid’re til Veksø

Du fyr der går rundt på Nørrebro
i dine beskidte snøresko
vil du score en chick
puds mere sko end pik
med kærlig hilsen din underbo

Det har i øvrigt været vanskeligt at finde nogle rigtig sjove, tilpas sjofle eller generelt gode limericks på dansk, så hvis du har en stanghamrende lækkerbisken af en dansk limerick, er du mere end velkommen til at bidrage med den i kommentarfeltet nederst.